Three Years

Three years ago today, I found my best friend. Took him to an orchestra concert, and talked with him until 3am. He heard a Tchaikovsky symphony for the first time that night, and the wonder I saw in him has stayed in my heart and mind since then.

The past three years have not all been the best of my life, though the last one’s been pretty amazing, so here’s to three years of knowing you, and here’s to a lifetime of learning who we are. I couldn’t have found a better best friend, and every day I love you just a little bit more.

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She Smiled

She sat in her room and thought of him. Thought of his smile, warm and gentle, thought of his laugh, bright and kind. She thought of brown eyes, like melted chocolate, and a dark, scratchy beard. She thought of holding his hand, her fingers lacing through his, and of long walks by the river near his house. She sat in her room, so far from his. She thought of him and smiled.

Of All the People

Of all the people in the world
out there for me to meet
it was you I met in honors math
in college who swept me off my feet.

Of all the people in the world
who had the chance to know me
it was you who turned my world upside down
and gave me so many wonderful things to see.

Of all the people in the world
that I could have given my heart to
it was you who chose to treasure it
and let me build a home with you.

More

Whenever I spend time away from you, it feels like I’ve forgotten something important. Like something is missing, and I can’t quite put my finger on it. But then you send me a message, say good morning or goodnight, and I realize what’s missing is you. The longer you’re away from me, the more intense the feeling gets, until the only desire I have is seeing you. It’s ridiculous how much I love you, and how much I miss you, but I wouldn’t want to stop loving you, no matter how much relief it brought, because I know that just being where you are will always bring me more.

Tired

Sometimes
it’s hard to be around
people who don’t know
keeping the mask on
pretending I’m okay
trying not to
let them see
just how damaged I am inside.
It makes me tired.

But sometimes
I get to spend the day
with you
and all the worries
all the pain
wash away
the mask falls off
and there’s still a
smile on my face.
You take my tiredness away.

Five-Thirty

Five-thirty in the morning
the warmth or your chest
pressed against my back
your left arm wrapped
securely around my waist
your right threaded under my neck

You buried your face in my hair
as our legs tangled together
in a rare moment of vulnerability
fueled by mutual exhaustion

If I Could

If I could
I’d bottle your smile
and pour it into my heart
when I’m feeling down.
I’d cradle your heart
like a fluttering bird
fragile
and close to my own.

If I could
I’d only make you smile
and turn bad thoughts
from sour to sweet.
I’d keep you safe
from sorrows and harm
warm
and always loved.

If I could
I’d stay by your side
a partner for love
a partner for life.
I’d protect and
take care of you
happy
if only you’d ask.

If You’ll Keep Me

I am completely and irrevocably
in love with you

You who have
cradled my heart so gently
like a songbird with a
broken wing

You who have
made me laugh
even on my
darkest days

You who have
shown me your passion for life
for the work that you do
and for the small piece of the world
you live in

I am yours completely
for always
if you’ll keep me

The Day Before

The day before your birthday, we sat with our feet in the river and talked. We said all the things we could only say when we were alone; the ways your dad drives you crazy, the childish mishaps we had when we were dating, the things we momentarily forgot in the comfort of the present… It was the day before your birthday, and I got us matching notebooks. Small, leather, with binder clasps to refill them. Mine a deep, matte teal, yours an almost glossy brown. I hope every time you write in it you think of me, and of talking with our feet in the river, the day before your birthday.

Happy birthday to my best friend in the world.  I love you.

 

Early Riser

Your head on my pillow
in the light of the
sunset through my window
you were gone by the time the
sun rose in the morning
waiting for me in the kitchen
when I awoke
a mug of tea
wrapped in your hands
an empty one
waiting for me
to join you.