You are not the
first boy I’ve found myself
falling in love with
and you may not
be the last.
For all we know
you’re just another
stop along my way.

You know about the first
but you don’t know
that he had
grey eyes and
red-brown hair
and a bad knee
because his ex’s ex
stepped on it
on purpose
because my ex was
being the hero
protecting the girl.

All you know is
he broke my heart
which broke me
and I’m still
picking up the pieces
the pieces you’re
afraid to touch
for fear of
making the damage
worse.

No matter how many
times I tell you
you can’t break me
like he did
you hold onto
your uncertainty
and the memories of
people in your own past
a hair’s breadth
away from falling apart
and you let them
tell you to
be wary.

Which is why we’re
just friends
but you can never be
just friends
when you’re falling in love
but you can never be
more
if only one of you
is falling.

So you are not
my past
and I don’t know if you’ll be
my future
but you are my present.
The past and future
are fuzzy.
The present is the only
clarity we have
and in this present I am
falling in love with you
just a little more
every day
and I am
happy to be falling
even if I’m falling alone
even if it’s just
for now.

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